Ladies, Make Time For Yourself

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For a long time, my mom sewed most of my sister and I’s clothes. I have fond memories of going to the pink sewing store (yes, the large stucco building was “Pepto Bismo” pink), looking through the pattern books, choosing an outfit for my mom to make. Later, I asked her why she didn’t sew anymore. She said that she could find clothes just as inexpensive as she could sew them. I think she found other things to do with her time. Sewing was a creative outlet she gave up.

My mom has many talents. She was an accomplished dancer. Growing up she learned the traditional technique of ballet. In college she learned Folk Dance and fell in love with Modern Dance. I remember going to the Nutcracker, and there she was, dancing the part of one of the toys. She taught ballet for a while as well. My sister and I would take classes, and my mom would teach. But when our brother was born, she also gave up dancing.

Just two examples, but I’m sure you can see my illustration clearly. Maybe your mother has given up similar talents, or maybe a friend, or maybe it’s you. Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and a season for all things, but I believe that when one door closes, there are many more waiting to be opened. Just because a talent is put aside for a while does not mean that we should give up on ourselves. There are many talents waiting to be discovered if we’ll just give them a chance.

In general, I believe that women tend to put others before their own needs. As mothers, as girlfriends, as coworkers. It’s just part of who we are. We want to help people, we want to make others happy. But if we are not fulfilled ourselves, how can we truly give to others in a healthy way?

For the past few years I’ve tried to get my mom to go back to dancing. She has only my two youngest brothers at home and much more time to enjoy dancing. After many chats, I gave up. Her biggest concern was that the dancing world had changed and that she would be behind. Thank goodness for Yoga. She has found a class that she enjoys and attends most mornings. And it makes her happy.

The stretch between giving up dance and taking yoga, however, has taken a toll. She is used to doing things that “need to get done” rather than taking a few minutes each day to ponder, find her inner peace or just enjoy life for a moment. By the end of most days she is so overly exhausted and finds herself overwhelmed with the “list” that is still waiting for her in the morning.

Despite all of the good she has taught me, this is one area in my life that I want to turn out differently. My primary roles at present are of wife and mother. I’ve decided that in order to be the best I can be I must choose to be happy, choose to make myself happy, so that I can help the precious ones in my life.

Whether you’re working, single, and/or momma-ing, you still owe it to yourself and those that you care for, to take a moment each day and fill your soul. Find Joy. Make yourself happy. Develop a talent. Find a new one. Make time for yourself.

write by Daria

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