Don Vinny – The Tale of the Sensitive and Elegant Mafia Don

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An Introduction to Don Vinny:

Mafioso Extraordinaire

Don Vinny sits before the open balcony to his elegant villa, caressing his favorite cat – Figaro… a fine crystal glass of Montelpucino on the nearby mahogany table. He casts aside the unlit cigar which was anchored between his lips (he never lights his cigars as he considers the aroma ” crude and invasive”). He opens his flip phone and barks out orders to his henchmen, typically men with tough faces but ordered to wear tuxedos while “on the job”. They do however carry small plastic sheets in the unlikely event that blood should spatter on furniture during any planned jobs, whether that project entails knocking off an adversary, robbing an art venue, or simply having his soldiers “politely” change somebody’s disposition on an issue. Don Vinny is eccentric, putting the term mildly.

Don Vinny does not carry a gun, and refused do so, instead he carries, among a sundry things, a lint remover, once having chastising a formidable enemy for not properly maintaining his suit during a gambling game gone bad The distraught foe shuddered as Don Vinny slowly reached into his dark overcoat- pulled the instrument out and gave the guy’s topcoat a thorough brushing while henchmen held him down. The local police force, which secretly tolerates and even applauds his style, maintains appearances in order to preserve the civil order.

Children love the Don, as he often doles out chocolates on the streets, local housewives frequently approach and consult him on decorating tips and trade food recipes, while the local priest and he are chess/playing buddies Don Vinny, although serious, is immensely gracious. His henchman once seriously roughed up a local adversary- only to have the affable Don thereafter immediately invite his nemesis to dinner at his mothers home for Veal Peccada and Gnocchi ala Putanesca.

Always surrounded by beautiful women – Don Vinny is now distracted in the midst of planning his next project. Always the quintessential mafia metrosexual, the heist is being orchestrated, as are all jobs, with sensitivity and an eye toward minimizing violence… Don Vinny would rather rearrange somebody’s furniture, then their face. He eschews violence of any kind, and tries not to rub anybody out, unless totally unavoidable.

His most recent project involves robbing an Italian Art Museum, the proceeds of which are to go to his favorite charity, the local Sisters of Miraculas Mercies, a local group of sweet nuns who raised him as a child, and for which there exists mutual admiration. The sisters are unwittingly frequently drawn into many of Don Vinny’s organized “projects” but in concert with the eccentric Don, they carry out their joint ventures with minimal violence, and always a modicum of style

This is an introduction to the marvelous character of Don Vinny… with many chapters to come.

write by Leonard


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